6/21/08

Crazy Girl In Cab Downtown Cleveland

I had no idea Cleveland had a site like this. My name is Brandon and my friends and I called a cab Friday night to go to the Warehouse district downtown. My friends and I all live in Lakewood, so they just came over to my house and I called the cab. So the cab shows up and it's a large van. There's only three of us. We head downtown and the cab driver gets a phone call from a regular customer and asks us if we minded if he picked up two girls on the west side of Cleveland who are also going downtown. My buddy Craig responded with, "only if they're hot" and the cab driver laughed. He didn't answer though. My other friend, Jack and I both said, yeah it's cool, if it's not too far out of the way and we get a discount. The driver said it was right on the way and that it would lower our fair.

So we pull up to this apartment somewhere on Detroit and these two hooker looking chicks get in. I think they were already in the process of getting hammered. The first chick went to get inside and she couldn't. Her skirt was too tight and low for her to boost herself up into the seat. We all just sat there and didn't know what to do. So her friend like pushes/boosts her into the floor part and then she squirms around and finally makes it into the seat. The other girl got in and the cab filled with cheap perfume. We knew we were going to have an interesting ride downtown. So Craig asks the chick with the short skirt what her name is and where they're going. Her name was Andrea and they were going to just get out at West 6th and hop around.

So we all got out at the same place. The girls were cool about paying and kept thanking us and the cab driver over and over. We asked them if they wanted to grab a drink and they said sure. So we head into the Blind Pig and we ended up staying there the whole night. We usually go to a few places, and didn't expect to hang with these girls all night. We did too many shots and were having fun until last call. I called the same driver to come get us since he knew where the girls lived and he was cool. As we're standing outside waiting for our ride, this Andrea chick starts puking all over the sidewalk. There are like 100 people right by us all crammed into this space and she starts hurling. Her friend was all worried and stumbling over to her and again, we didn't know what to do so we just stood there. Jack was like, let's just leave them here, what if they puke in the cab or on us? I told Jack that's not cool at all and we have to make sure they get home.

Anyway, here comes the cab and we all hop in cause it's crazy crowded and he's in the middle of the street. So we all get inside and forget about Andrea's problem with her skirt. So Jack goes back out to help her friend get her inside. The cabby looks a tad anxious and pissed especially after Craig tells him that they were puking and are a mess. He tells the girls, "You better not puke in my van! If you have anything left in you, get it out on the street." I was dying laughing. I wasn't exactly sober myself and this shit was way too hilarious. Jack like hoists her up in the front seat cause nobody wanted her to sit in the back. She like lays there hunched over and silent. So we take off and get on the highway. This girl like perks up and starts turning the radio up and singing. I have no idea where it came from but it was another twist and my head was spinning. I was thinking to myself, please don't puke again, if I smell it, I'm puking too.

So we all sit there watching Andrea enjoy her buzz big time and Jack is trying to talk to the other girl. We finally get to their apartment and this chick falls out of the front seat and right onto her friend trying to get out. Of course Jack jumps out and tries to help. She's a mess. He helps her to the door and talks to the other girl for a minute. He gets back in and of course we took care of the fare. The driver was laughing and said he sees this all the time. It makes his job interesting. It was a first for me. Just thankful I didn't get home with puke on my lap.

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